There is every cause for optimism; a Britain rebooted, reset, renewed and able to engage with the whole world. This was a seismic campaign whose lessons must be learnt by politicians at home and abroad. We heard the voices of millions of the forgotten people, who have seen no real increase in their incomes, while FTSE-100 chiefs now earn 150 times the average pay of their employees. We must pursue actively the one-nation policies that are among David Cameron’s fine legacy, such as his campaigns on the Living Wage and Life Chances. There is no doubt that many were speaking up for themselves.
I really appreciate your effort.
But I'm wondering, why did you mention alternatives in the second paragraph? You categorized this topic as "'strong opinion", then if you strongly agreed, you would mention why you supported this idea in both paragraphs.
But these two paragraphs Would have been more suitable with "partly agree introduction and conclusion" that you agree that ex-prisoners are not the only way to encourage teens not to commit crimes.
But now I feel there is a discrepancy in meaning of overall idea.